This will never be read by you, I know. I'd write it with my own blood if I could. The blood spilled everytime I cut myself thinking about you and how I can't be with you. The blood is life, and I feel you there in my blood, in every single drop of it. I feel you running in my veins and coming out of my skin when I cut, like a catharsis, as if I wanted to just get rid of you. Why is destiny so cruel to me? Why does it have to happen to me? You're there, unaware of all of this, living your own life, while I lay here dying inside. I'm dead inside because life wants me to be dead. You're just another piece of the puzzle that forms my pain, my nightmare, all I have left. But you're the biggest piece of the puzzle, you're there, shining like a star, injecting fears and paranoia into my tormented mind and you don't even know it, because I can't! I can't and don't want to. I am living a nightmare, I am sacrificing every bit of my soul just to protect you! Fuck, you don't know this, do you?! You don't and you can't, and you'll never even read this letter. You wouldn't even understand it.
It's like your ghostly presence is carved right into my heart. I'm inside your mind and you're inside mine. Only I can truly understand what this means. Every piece of you completes and builds my existence now, but at the same time destroys it, only to build it again, and so on.
Will my torment end? I don't know.
But I love you, that's one thing I know for sure.
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